Romantica Parody: The Red Button
by NowakiStar
Summary: If only Misaki hadn't pressed the red button. Maybe everything would have been different. PARODY. OOC. If you're confussed, look at my other lousy spoofs. lol. Oh, and T for naughty lanuage.
1. The Red Button

_Welcome to the Insane World of the Romantica Parody. I must warn you; this spoof is totally different from my other parodies. In the past, I've mainly spoof out what they were saying to fit my own psycho story-line. This is almost purely me. Naturally, I've got to use some things from Junjou Romantica, but I've limited this one to the anime. Why not the books? Well, I've just come up with too much BS and am forced to do the anime. It's shorter and there's less dialog. Also, this has a little more BS then the others. OOC, but of course. _

_Plus: All of my spoofs intertwine somehow. You'll see that Hiroki and Nowaki are just like in the Egoist Spoof. _

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Junjou Romantica. However, I am counting the days until I can buy it on DVD May 2._

_**Warnings:**__ A little bit of Yaoi. If you don't like, I have no idea why you're even looking up Junjou fanfictions._

_Now, on to the story. Plus don't hate me! Lol._

--

Misaki's grades were horrible. He knew he had to improve or he'd never be able to enter the tech school like this. He'd never be able to follow in his brother's footsteps and become a Beautician.

And he only had four months until exams. Then he'd be out of the boring school he'd grown up in, and starting something new. And he'd be following Niichan's dream, even though he himself hadn't been able to complete it.

"With these grades, I won't ever be able to work in Wal-Mart." He sighed as he opened the apartment door, "Brother, I'm…"

He stared open mouthed at the scene before him. His own brother… His brother was in the arms of another guy. And he didn't look too displeased by it.

"Hey, Misaki!" he greeted normally, "This is my friend Usami Akihiko."

It was the worst first impression.

--

A week later I found myself outside the house of Usami Akihiko. Not just to deliver the stew Takahiro'd made for him, but also because I needed a tutor. And sadly, he was the smartest person my brother knew. Little did he know…

I rang the bell a couple of times. It was a huge red button, which was sort of weird. Each time, I received no answer. So I did what any annoying kid would do and tried the door, which naturally was unlocked.

Now is where I mention the guy is insanely rich, and his apartment is huge. The living room itself was the size of my school's cafeteria. Maybe my brother had the right idea, letting someone this incredibly rich hang on him like that.

And because I was so poor and lame, I pretty much just dropped the pot of stew onto his coffee table. I almost sat down to wait for him but I noticed a couple of notes laying on the table. Maybe he'd left one saying he'd gone out and that I should just hang around and watch his flat-screen TV for him for the next two hours.

Sadly no such luck. The first one read: Thanks for the great night. By the way, I only take cash so you'll have to take the check back next time I see you. Love, Kamijou.

The second: "I'm asleep. Don't bother waking me, Aikawa. The damned book is on the table." Then a neater hand writing: "Thank you, Sensei! I'm taking it down to M. Publishing Comp. right now. Don't worry; I'll get the editor that looks just like a mix of Hiroki and Shinobu to look at it, since he's soo into Literature." (1)

Well, that was pointless, Misaki thought. His tutor was asleep and sadly watching _The Tutors_ didn't count as studying. He had no choice but to be noisy and pick up one of the books on the coffee table. Somehow, it didn't look very… Um, normal.

The first hint that it wasn't something he should be reading was that it was pink. Hot pink. And the back cover was covered in half nude guys. Not to mention the un-original title was: 300+ pages of Takahiro and Akihiko doing it.

But Misaki, like his grades proved, was rather dimwitted and didn't realize what the book was until he'd read the first sentence: _Censor, censor, censor, Takahiro, censor, censor, tap, censor, Akihiko._

"What the fuck…" Misaki started as he stared down at the graphic text. Okay, there was no way his brother could sink that low.

"What is this crap!?" he yelled, slamming the bedroom door open. "That's you and Niichan! What the hell do you think you are? You can't just…"

A tiny metal spaceship zoomed past his head. Looking around he realized the whole room was filled with nothing but books on… conspiracy?

There was a groan, and he remembered he wasn't alone. There on the bed, a certain silver haired, lavender eyed beast was stirring. Or at least that's want it looked like to Misaki.

"So, you saw it…" he growled, sitting up. And I was afraid. Who wouldn't be? This guy is freaking nuts!

But I knew I had to stand my ground. There was no backing out of this one… "This porno book… It's you and Niichan isn't it? How dare you! I know, he's native and loves money, but you're just taking advantage of him, aren't you? Go find someone else and leave my brother out of this! Any guy will do, right?"

He smirked, "Any guy will do, eh?"

A second later, I'd been thrown onto the bed. My first lesson: Never piss off the guy who's bold enough to write porno's about your brother.

"Let go of me!" I yelled, just like those TV shows said. Yell as loud as you can. Of course, I wasn't really sure if there was anyone to hear me…

I thrust my knee upward into a place where I know it'd hurt. Flipping, I tried to crawl away. Lesson number two: Never turn your back on a pervert.

Lesson three: Don't fight it, it'll only last longer.

"Well, that's was fast," he said a second later, one hand down my pants.

"Bastard." I muttered.

--

**Sorry this is soo short. I hope no one's majorly mad yet… I mean, I've done the other couples. It's about time I did the main pairing.. Anyway, next chapter will explain more. (And it will contain the actual story-line of this spoof. Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Machine

_Hey, I'm glad to see you're back. I hope you're a little surprised by Akihiko, although I believe he appeared "a little off" when he was in Egoist. Ha-ha, this is as crazy as the others if not more so._

_This may be rewritten. I'm not sure that I'm satisfied with it._

--

For some reason or another Misaki didn't run screaming from Akihiko's house. It was something a normal human would have done. But then, Misaki wasn't exactly normal, was he?

The guys sat across from one another, Akihiko sipping a cup of coffee.

"Sorry you had to see that," he said after an awkward moment. "Everyone's got to have hobby."

"So, you're just a typical spoiled rich kid after all," Misaki said. "I get it," he then gave a short rant complete with air diagrams.

"How did you know?" Akihiko asked after a moment. He suddenly stood up, "Who sent you! What do you want?"

"Huh?" Misaki moved back, fearing a second mini rape.

"Don't play stupid with me! I know what you are! You're a terminator here to see how much I know about the machines."

"What are you talking about?" _Great,_ he thought, _my tutor's a psychopath._

Akihiko didn't answer, instead he picked up Misaki up by his collar. _Damn, he's strong too._ He twisted Misaki's arm back, as if to break it.

"Ow! Stop it!"

Akihiko let him go, "Robots don't feel pain. You're clear."

Misaki blinked at him. _Wow… Just wow. There is no way I'm hanging out with this guy._

"Oh, I should apologize. You just surprised me. I didn't realize Takahiro's idiot brother was a psychic." He put out his hand. When Misaki didn't shack it, he dropped his arm awkwardly. "Do you want to do another mini before the end of the episode?"

"Sure," Misaki replied, he loved ranting after all, "I can also explain your orientation! You ended up seeing your mother in bed with some random guy! And so you lost all desire for women! Then you met a call-boy named Kamijou and you found out you were gay."

"Close," Akihiko answered, "She was with Lady Gaga. But you're right about everything else."

"Lady Gaga is a man."

"No, she isn't."

"Whatever," Misaki said, rolling his eyes. There was no way this was going to work out.

"Anyway, what school are you aiming for?"

"Lenape Tech." he answered.

"Well, aren't you ambitious?"

"The hell! Everything you say pisses me off! You never know until you try!"

"No, I know. I went to Harvard after High School. And your brother showed me your report card. You'll be lucky if they let you do summer school instead of repeating."

"I'm set on going next year! I have to, for Niichan!"

"Takahiro?" Usami asked, sitting up a little straighter.

Misaki looked down. "Well, you know our parents died ten years ago. Niichan quit school and started working so that he could support me. He'd just been accepted into the Beauty Department there... That's why I want to go to Lenape Tech. For Niichan."

"If that's how it is, I'll definitely help you! You can't possibly fail with me tutoring you!" he said, messing up Misaki's hair.

"Yeah," he said, blushing a little. Misaki wasn't sure if he could trust this crazy guy, but if it meant going to Tech School… He'd do anything.

--2 weeks later.

"Look! I told you I could do better!" Misaki said, happily entering Usami's apartment.

"Wow C's! Yep, you're a genius all right."

"Hey, don't make fun of me!"

"Oh, by the way, what the hell happened to your hair? What's with all the clips?" Akihiko poked Misaki's hair as if slightly afraid.

"I did it myself. I figured since I was going into Cosmo I should actually try working on my hair. You like?"

"You look worse than one of the anime's crappy-designed side-characters. You know, the ones in the background. Yes, well there are pretty side character girls than you."

Misaki pouted before glancing into the mirror. He'd liked it…

"But it was a great effort. Do you what some help with it?"

"Ah, sure…" Misaki said, starting to take the berets out. "Anyway, I was just wondering.. You and my brother…"

"It's all one sided. Takahiro's straight."

"I know, he's got a girlfriend. But still, what if they saw those books!"

"Misaki, if the machines say Takahiro is to date a girl, it is probably my punishment for disobeying them. And I don't want to endanger him. Besides, he's happy with her."

"I still have no clue what you're talking about." he admitted, yet again questioning Akihiko's sanity. This wasn't the first time Usami had mentioned the machines.

"Have you even walked into a room and not known why you'd gone into it in the first place?"

"Yeah, doesn't everybody?"

"Exactly! It's the machines! They control everything that we do."

"You just lost me again."

Akihiko sighed, "It's like a video game. You can control the characters in it. Like in Sims. They control us, Misaki."

"Has anyone ever told you that you needed a cat-scan?" Misaki asked.

"No, they usually just praise me. But I don't really care what they do. Although, I'd love to have my books in the non-fiction section instead of Syfy. But as long as people can read it and know the truth…"

"You really are crazy."

"Your ignorance is my reality."

--Weeks later. (It's not my fault they jump around soo much in the anime!)

"I'm soo awesome!" Misaki cheered as he saw his report card. He'd gotten all A's. Just like Akihiko promised, he would probably be getting into the Technical school. "I've got to show Usagi!" he said happily starting to skip toward the young author's house.

"Wait, wait, wait!" he yelled suddenly. "I am not skipping to his house."

Misaki tried to deny it, but he only continued, cheerfully.

"No, I'm not! And who said you could narrate the story!?" he screamed at the disembodied voice of the author of this fanfiction.

Badly drawn side characters stared at him funny. He muttered something rude about spending too much time with Usagi before walking toward the apartments.

He would never admit it but…

"I do not like men!" he screamed at the author again.

Ahem. He would not admit to watching Starz every night on TV. But since his embarrassing outbursts are so amusing, we'll just him continue with the story now.

--Switching to First-Person: ((Misaki is such a rebel.))

"I do not like men!"

If they hadn't been staring before, they were now. And sadly, the narrator was no longer there to help me through this.

"Excuse me?" Usami asked, coming up behind me. This day just couldn't get any better.

"Oh! Ah… _'In this same interlude it doth befall; That I, one Snout by name, present a wall'… Um, and 'Thus have I, Wall, my part discharged so; And, being done, thus Wall away doth go.'_"

"Who the hell taught you Shakespeare?"

"We're doing: _A mid Summer Nights Dream_ in Drama Club. I'm Wall." I bragged. I'd just narrowly escaped being Thisbe, the girl who had to be played by a guy character. Yes, even Shakespeare had cross dressing characters.

"Really? I'd think you'd be Thisbe." Usami teased. "Anyway, you wanna walk home with me. I got a cake for your brother."

I blinked. Cake…

"Don't tell me you've forgotten! It's Takahiro's birthday."

"Ah… No, I just… I was excited about the play! It's not every day you get chosen to play a guy playing a wall." I was actually a little impressed. He actually cared that much about my brother…

"I suppose not."

"And I just got this," I held up the report card, "All A's this time."

Usami laughed and ruffled my hair.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Why did even this slight show of affection make me blush?

"Good job," he said simply, already walking toward my apartment.

How could my heart be beating like this… It was just Akihiko being his usual-psychopath-self. Why should that effect me?!

--

"I'm home…" he started only to be cut off by the pop of a wine cork.

"Happy Birthday!" we cheered. Takahiro only blinked at us, the freaks in his dining room, before realizing he should be playing along.

"Wow, thank you," he said, still gawking.

"Here, I got you this." Usami handed my brother a small box. It was too big to be a wedding ring so I didn't freak out.

Of course, I didn't really want to stick around for the Akihiko-Takahiro love feast. So I slowly sneaked back into the living room…

"Um, Takahiro! You left the door unlocked and some circus monkey got in. What should I do about it?"

"That's not a monkey, Silly! This is my girlfriend!" Takahiro said rushing into the living room and kissing her on the cheek.

Usagi and I shared a look. He mouthed, _'See what I mean about machines wanting revenge?'_

I replied casually, _'It's okay, I think she's just a side character anyway.'_

Both of our heads snapped up when Takahiro said, "We've decided to get married."

"Oh… That's wonderful, Takahiro!" Usami said, giving his best friend a high-five. He was acting as if everything were okay, and doing a pretty good job of it. But I knew it was all an act. Maybe because I really had been spending too much time with him, or maybe because I really am psychic. Either why, I wasn't falling for this act.

And then Takahiro had to open his big mouth and say how much glad he was that Usami approved. And stuff like that. Was he trying to crush Akihiko?

I punch the wall. Everyone looked up, surprised by the unexpected bang. "…censored…"

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing… The wine's all gone. I'll go get some more."

"They won't see to a High School kid!"

"I'll get Akihiko to buy it. Come on," I said, dragging him by his sleeve.

I didn't look where we were going. I just knew I didn't want to be around Takahiro or Manami. Even though she has no lines until episode 7.

And my eyes were watering up, and I really just needed to cry it out.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, stooped over in a dark alleyway.

"What for? It's not your fault, it's the machines again."

"That was just so cruel! How could Niichan do that!" I whined ignoring the machine talk. I understood Usagi-ese very well and knew what he was trying to say.

"Misaki, this isn't at all your fault."

"I know, I'm crying for you, idiot! Once I start crying, I can't stop." It was pretty silly, but it was true. I was such a crybaby.

"Ah," he said, tilting my face up. He leaned in slowly, as if waiting for me to pull away. But I didn't. For some reason. His lips met mine, and gently pressed against them. It only lasted a second or two, but somehow I became perfectly relax.

And my tears stopped…

"I'm sorry… But I'm going to have to rape you in the next episode. But for now, let's just hug." He said, back to being insane.

But, for some reason, I didn't want him to let me go.

Maybe I'm insane too.

Whatever the reason, I didn't push away. It's probably too soon for me to decide… but I think I may actually be falling for the weirdo.

--

The next month, I experimented with hair gel.

It was actually kind of fun. And easy to work with. Within minutes I had all of it sticking up straight.

Only to have Usami messed it all up with his frequent hair-raping session.

"Remember, you're only on the waiting list. You may not get into Cosmo." He teased.

"Of course I will," I yelled, grabbing my tie from the couch. Naturally, I screwed the whole thing up and Usami had to help me. And being a dick head, he forced me to sit on his lap while doing so.

Of all days for the apartment lease to be up, why did it have to be the day Takahiro got transferred? Why was I suddenly stuck living with Usami?

Fate?

No, Usami would say it was the machines. Though, he was convinced they hated him…

Whatever it was, I couldn't say I was all that displeased.

--

**7 pages out of the second half of Episode one! Wow, I'm impressed. I didn't think using the anime would make it this long. As you can see it hasn't changed too much yet. But it's getting there. Thanks for reading, and please review.**


	3. Three Cheers For Cosmo

_Sorry its taken soo long. You see, I thought I already uploaded chapter 3 and so I deleted it from my flash drive without thinking. Luckily, I still had my notes from writing it in study hall!_

"He's just so weird!" he vented.

"Yeah, some people, huh? Say, is that a box of poptarts?" Shinobu asked, eyeing the box on the counter.

"It's empty, remember you finished it last time you were here." Misaki shivered remembering how destrubing the sight had been. That boy could eat three poptarts in under two minutes. *

"Don't lie to me! I know you have more."

"I'm not lying," Misaki lied.

"They're in the third cabinet to the right. I can smell them." He said standing up. He disappeared into the kitchen and returned a minute later carrying a couple packets.

Misaki knew he would have to start hiding them in his gym locker, along with his hot fries; the only place Shinobu's amazing nose wouldn't pick up on them.

This was when Usami Akihiko, the psycho, strolled in. It was his apartment after all.

He stared at Shinobu for a moment. Then he looked at Misaki, eyes asking 'Who the hell is this?'

'Just a friend,' Misaki mouthed. Usami nodded before going upstairs to his room.

"Does that guy work in a funnel home or something?" Shinobu asked, before shoving the third poptart into his mouth.

"No, why?" Misaki asked wondering if he'd spied in one, talking to a dead person. It would be Akihiko-ish.

"People don't typically wear a suit every day. Usually they don't unless someone's died. And he wears them all the time!"

"He's a writer."

"So, he's like the guy in _The Cabin by the Lake_?" Shinobu whispered seriously.

They laughed for awhile, until Shinobu ditched to hang out with his boyfriend. Misaki figured the guy must work at a diner if he'd gotten Shinobu's attention.

Misaki wandered upstairs, only to be attacked by Usami. Again. But naturally the psycho backed off when Misaki threatened to use "The Japanese Red Ring of Death" * on him.

And so ended another boring day in the boring life of T. Misaki.

"Okay, girls… and guys," a blonde women said from the front of the classroom, "Welcome to COSMO!"

Yes, Misaki's life-long dream was becoming true. He had been accepted into Beauty School.

"Okay, everybody, I know you're all very excited but remember this is a class. And a business too. In a month, we'll be open to the public and you'll all have a chance to see what it's like working in a real salon. Of course, only the seniors are expected to work. But on busy days, you juniors will you're your chance too. Remember that though the profits are going to the school, you are able to make tips. So, be sure to work extra hard and you'll make some money! Isn't this going to be super fun, girls?" then she realized there were guys too and added, with a giggle, "And guys?"

I figured this class would be different. But I had no idea.

"Sadly, we don't have enough stalls for everyone. So, everybody partner up!"

"Hi, I'm Sumi," said the only other guy in the class, "You wanna share a stall?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said, happy that someone was talking to me, "Anyway, I'm Misaki."

"You're not a Usami?" he asked, "Wasn't that Usami Akihiko driving you this morning? Everyone's been talking…"

"He's my brother's friend. I'm just stuck living with him." Wow, I made that sound dull!

"That must be awesome!" Sumi said, sitting down in one of the 'spiny chairs.'

"Not really, the guy's insane. You know those he writes? He actually believes all that BS."

"I hate his books, though I read every single one and fan-girl over them." He gushed.

Yes, this class was going to be interesting.

"Okay, I'm not gay or anything but I think Sumi is pretty awesome." Misaki told Akihiko later.

"Yes, you're not gay, you just love to cut hair and do make-up, eh?"

"My brother's straight and he likes doing those things."

"Whatever, Misaki, just keep on denying it."

"Anyway, he's a senior. He even has a group of all the guys in Cosmo! I'd love to join…"

"If you think you have time for that, why don't you get a job?"

"Because, I don't know want I want to do in my life. In fact, I don't think I'll ever figure it out! Even after going through years of college in one field! But who knows, maybe I'll become a stay-at-home-husband."

"Or a stay-a-homo-"

"Oh shut up, Usagi! I have important gossip about my man-crush* Sumi!"

"Great,"

"He said he could get me a job at a bar. And get this, I can make 1500 yen if I strip." Misaki didn't yet understand the concept of strip-clubs. He figured it was some weird noob ritual.

The cigarette fell from Akihiko's lips. He was debating whether to: be jealous, thank Sumi or cry.

"Anyway, he said he'd help me with whatever I needed."

"What you need to do is stay away from that guy," Usami said, deciding on jealous. He'd cry later about the fact that Sumi was getting more of Misaki's attention. "He sounds to me like a whiny, emo, Anne Rice vampire."*

"You don't even know him!"

"So what? I'm a main character, I'm allowed to judge."

"Just because you're a main character…"

"Fine, I'm God. Happy now?"

"Maybe."

The phone began ringing as soon as they entered the house. Misaki ran to get it, hoping I was his new 'bff' Sumi.

"Oh, hi Niichan." He said hearing the familiar voice on the other end. "Yeah, you can talk to Usami."

"Hey, babe!" Akihiko said, taking the phone from Misaki, who rolled his eyes. The two guys began chatting excited like a couple of girls.

Of course, Misaki pretended not to care and went into the next room.

"Seriously? Ugh, I hate my brother! He needs to go lay down on a highway."*

Misaki didn't mean to listen in, but it was Usami's fault for using Speaker-Phone.

"He also said something about 'them' killing us off and taking over the world."

"Ignore Haruhiko, he's fruitcake."

"I know, but it almost sounds like one of your books…"

"IT IS NOT LIKE ONE OF MY BOOKS! MY BROTHER IS COMPLETELY INSANE!"

"Sorry, sorry. I forgot how different you guys are from Misaki and me."

"_Different _being the key-word."

"Again, I'm sorry. I'll let you go now."

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

"See ya,"

**Don't worry, much more shall happen in the next chapter…**


	4. Side Character Hell

_And finally, you guys get to meet Aikawa, Isaka and Toudou. (Does anyone else think his name sounds like a Pokémon?)_

The morning started out as usual. Aka, Misaki was sexually harassed and eventually pulled into bed with Akihiko, who was now less afraid of "The Japanese Red Ring Of Death." Unfortunately.

But luckily he was saved by Aikawa walking in on them.

"Hey, Romeo!" she snapped, putting one hand on her waist, "You gonna finish your book or do I gotta bitch slap your boy a couple times, eh?"

"Okay, I don't want to sound rude, but who the hell are you?" Misaki asked, trying to escape from Akihiko's grip.

"You don't know me? Come on, Misaki, we talk on the phone all the time. I leave brownies for you. How can you forget me?"

"It's okay, Misaki. She's just a slightly important side-character."

"Who are you calling a side character? I'm pimp, yo!"

"And for some reason, she thinks she's gangster."

"I am gang-sta." The blonde women argued. "Now, you hand up the manuscript or I get my boy Isaka here to cap yo."

Akihiko laughed openly at Isaka, standing in the doorway. He was drooling everywhere and was currently high as a kite.

"Okay, you know what? I've had enough yaoi-anime adventures for this morning. I'm going to school." Misaki said, rushing out the door.

"Does this mean I can eat him?"

"No, Isaka. Now shut up and look sexy or something."

If Misaki actually thought school would be an escape, he was wrong. Instead he can face to face with the new kid, Toudou, who believed they were best friends.

"I don't know you."

"Sure you do. Or at least will. I googled the Junjou Romantica summery. Turns out we're both big fans of _The Kan_. But sadly, only chicks like that book. So, we eventually start a Facebook club called: Men who read _The Kan_. But no one ever joins it."

"Oh, that's depressing. I actually liked those books." Misaki grumbled before hiding from his _"new super epic best-est friend/ Sumi replacement."_

"Hi, Misaki!" Sumi called, smiling in a freaky-stalker kind of way. "Hey, you wanna go to a bar tonight?"

"No, I have to get Takahiro divorced so I can move out of Usami's house."

"Oh, that's nice. Want me to take him off your hands?" Sumi offered, blinking innocently.

"Sorry, don't have time for that drama 'til season 2."

"Alright, have it your way."

And because the airing time is limited, and because it's long and boring; we shall skip to when Misaki gets home.

"Just remember, you're better seen than heard." A certain new side-character told a certain higher then moon character.

"Just you wait! One day, I'll write my own book and I won't mention you at all." He threatened.

Misaki sighed and opened the door. They'd have to leave eventually.

"Oh, hey smexi! I was just about ta…" Aikawa stopped to think for a minute, "oh ya know, steal your boy's car."

"Go for it," Misaki told her.

"You know, I like you. You want some donuts or something."

Akihiko made a rather crude joke then, and got back handed by Aikawa.

"You just got pimp-slapped, fool."

"Whatever, take the manuscript and get out, okay?"

"Fine, I out. Come, Fido… Ah, I mean, Isaka. Ha."

The door slammed behind them and Misaki smiled a little. But, for some odd irrational reason, he could help thinking that Usami and Aikawa must have been very close. After all, not many people could talk to Usami like that!

"So, Aikawa is pretty isn't she?" he asked, as if this were normal conversation.

"Can't you tell?" one of Usami's eye brows raised, "Come on, Misaki, you're supposed to be the straight one here."

"Ugh, never mind. Anyway, you two known each other long?"

"Long enough." He muttered back. _What's that supposed to mean!_

"Okay, so do you give every person, you just randomly meet on the sidewalk, your house key?"

"She's important to the machines. I'm not sure why yet, but I'm sure they're using her for something."

"Um? Why do you think that? She seems nice and all."

"Forget about her, Misaki! The woman is a beast! She'll swallow you in one bite!"

_So… Does that mean… Eww_. "Okay, I'll just be going then." Misaki said, only to be tackled. Again. "Usami, stop!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm tired. I had a long day and I'm not in the mood."

"How do you actually feel about me?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I've just been wondering about you're programming. Something seems very off."

"Well, I don't know."

"I… Never mind," Usami then got up and, amazing, left Misaki alone for the night.

-- ((BTW, this is where I start mixing things together so that I don't have spend as time on them in later chapters.))

Misaki came home the next day, wishing he could find someone to be his guinea pig. His class was told to "test out" the new hair dye on someone and bring the pictures back to class as homework.

"Yo, Mizz." Aikawa said from the floor. She was kneeling in front of Usami, looking totally suspicious.

"Um… W.T.F?"

"S.T.F.U home boy." She muttered.

"Um, Usagi…"

"Sorry, I have a meeting." He said, helping Aikawa up. "I'm already running a little late. Anyway, I'll be back in an hour, okay?"

"But… I have important things to bitch about!"

"It's cool, Mizz! I bought yo some muffins."

He sighed, "Thanks, Aikawa. I guess."

"See how I do! I take care of my brothers."

He rolled his eyes as soon as she turned her back.

"I'll see you later," Usami called as they left, Aikawa slapping him on the butt.

Misaki glared at door even after they'd gone, thinking _'I'd tap that.'_

"WAIT A MINUTE! What the heck am I thinking!" he slapped his forehead a couple times before sitting down to eat his muffin.

Two hours and a few beers later, Misaki decided, after watching a little TV, to make prank phone calls. To Sumi.

"Hey, this is Aikawa, from Hooters. You're boobs are… ah, I forget…"

"Misaki, is that you?"

"I'm pimping, yo."

"Are you high?"

"No!"

"Have you been drinking?"

"Maybe."

"Okay, what you need to do is come over to my house right away. Don't get in a car, and don't take the subway. Just walk here, okay?"

"Okay," Misaki muttered, hanging up.

That was when Akihiko walked in. "Hey, Misaki."

"I'm sleeping over at Sumi's tonight."

"What?"

"We're using his pet hamster to test hair dye."

"I'm not sure that's legal."

"Whatever. You left me for Aikawa, I'm leaving you for Sumi." Misaki mumbled, staggering toward the door.

"What are you babbling about?"

"You know what! You've been poking Aikawa. Or planning to use me as Takahiro's replace. Or whatever!"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, and know what? I'm not going to be your substitute for Takahiko either! Just leave me alone, and go back to that fake gangster whore."

"Misaki, I think you've been imagining things… Wait! So, you guys do care about me?" Akihiko looked up at the ceiling, then back at Misaki, "The machines they…" he smiled, "You've been jealous, Misaki?"

"Me? No way!"

"Yes way." He said, kissing Misaki's cheek, "It's because you love me."

"Oh shut up, I do not."

Akihiko grinned and carried Misaki back to his room, where he was threatened non-stop about the _"Japanese Red Ring of Death"_ but simply didn't care about it.

--The next morning/BONUS:

"Okay, you really want to know why I gave her a key?"

"No shit."

"Well, you see Aikawa and I have a long history together." Usami smiled, "In fact, the first time I ever robbed a bank it was with her. But that was during High School **Cheer** Camp, and that's another story. Anyway, she was also the first person, besides my family, I ever told about the machines. And she didn't say I was crazy. Even offered to buy me some _speed _so I'd write for her company."

"Lovely."

**Yeah, I know I mixed like, everything. But like I said before, I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone. In the next chapter we shall meet Haruhiko and Usami-chichi. :p Reviews are welcome! Haha.**


	5. A Quest For Ratings

_**Sorry, it was a little hard to write around vacation. Away, here's the next chapter. **_

-/-

_The priestess dropped something else into the potion. Haruhiko wasn't sure what, but it didn't matter in the long run. Smoke rose around them. It made a small image of a boy. _

"_His name is Takahiro… Er, no Misaki." She paused again, "He is yours, by divine alien law."_

"_Thank you, Klaw. You are truly a gifted psychic."_

"_Yes, now about that money you owe me…"_

-**Some many hours later:**

Misaki stepped into the subway car. He wasn't in the best mood but that was probably because Usami had ordered him to go to some hotel. He figured it had something to do with his latest book tour. But something felt sort of different.

He sat down next a guy in a tux. Maybe Usami wasn't the only one crazy enough to wear them in the summer.

The guy stared at him for a moment. And Misaki scooted away, nervously.

There was a long tense moment before Misaki noticed a poster that advertised Usami's latest bestseller. So, to lighten things up, he casually said, "Have you read that book?" he asked, pointing, "I've heard that his novels are really good."

"His books are a disgrace to the Usami name. Besides, he's insane and actually believes the crap he writes. Machines that control the world? Ha."

Misaki stared at him in slight shock. Not many people knew that much about Usagi… Maybe they were old college buddies.

-/-

Eventually he got to the hotel, which was on the other side of town from their apartment. Unfortunately, the strange guy from the subway followed him out and toward the hotel.

"Are you stalking me?"

"No, not for another few episodes. I'm just conveniently in the same hotel as you. Which is a total accident."

"Okay… I'm just gonna call Usagi now."

"Um, I'm standing right behind you…" someone said as a hand rested on his shoulder.

He spun around and almost crashed into Akihiko. "Don't scare me like that." He said, whacking him lightly.

"Akihiko…" they both looked up at the stranger.

"Oh for the love of Johnny Deep… What are you doing here?"

"That kid's your boyfriend?" the guy asked, staring at Misaki meaningfully.

"Yes,"

"No," he and Usami said at once.

"Well, if you must know, by divine alien law he is mine."

"I don't care about alien law any more! It's not real."

"It's very real, brother. As real as the movie District 9" *

"No, it isn't. And if you ever wish to be truly happy, you'll give up that old faith. We both know that there are too many things left unanswered in the Holy Document of Buzz Light-year."

"Buzz Armstrong!"

"Whatever. The point is, the only answer is that makes sense is that it's machines controlling us."

"Will both of you just stupid up! You _**IDIOTS**_!" Okay, being bold, capped, italic and underlined didn't even cover it. It was like epically, epic. And had both Usami's gawking in surprise.

"Um, okay then. Misaki, let's go upstairs." Akihiko said, though he was fine with making a scene, he knew Misaki would be embarrassed. That's just how he was programmed.

Misaki followed him into one of the elevators and they vanished from Haruhiko's view. He watched the doors close, thinking, 'This could be harder than I thought…'

"Ugh, what are we doing here anyway?" Misaki, asked as if slightly annoyed.

Akihiko only smiled and backed him into the elevator wall. "Well, you see," he said in a low/husky/sexy voice, against Misaki ear, "The write just realized that although I'm a 'pedo' must of our make-out moments have been cut out or cut short because of the lack of importance. So, in an attempted to make me more IC in a BS story, we're gonna f*ck."

"But this only a T-rating!" Misaki protested, as Usagi began nipping at his ear.

"But they are in our fandom, right? What else do they read this shit for?"

"I don't read fanfiction just for smut! Honestly, having a normal relationship is way better."

"It's too late. She already cut out our date chapter." *

And so, Misaki was screwed all night.

-/-

"Well, my existence is this is pretty pointless but I may as well make an appearance on this show before I die." Said a certain familiar old guy.

"No, dad!" Haruhiko argued, "You can't show up until season two!"

"Just watch me!"

-/-

**Not a very long chapter, but it was written in a notebook I kept during vacation and everything always looks bigger on paper. I promise to make up of size with the next one. Hopefully. **

*** Due to my own blondeness I did accidently miss it. However I'm going to use it as a Bonus.**


	6. Shoulda Listened To Takahiro

Okay, much apologizes. You guys probably know me by now. Well, I believe I promised a good, long chapter. And here it is.

And yes, I know that neither Hurahiko or Usami-chichi (I love that name!) were there til season two. It was meant to be an irony. (Perharps I failed…)

**HUGE F**ING THANK YOU TO Nikki! He's helping me make these silly parodies into amv-ish things for youtube! Hopefully by the next chapter, the trailor video will be up!**

-/-

"Misaki, you're gay."

Misaki turned around to face Isaka. "Um, okay."

Really, Misaki wanted to be anywhere but at the little event dedicated to Usami.

"You better not screw this up! I know you and Usami have a thing, but right now, during boring book tour events, he is my shit. Got that?"

"Okay," Misaki said weakly.

"Good… So," he suddenly started in a whisper, "You want a drink?"

"Um, okay. It's not like I barely know you or anything!" Misaki said taking the drink he was handed.

"Good puppy, good." Isaka said, smiling in a weird way.

"You're kinda scary, you know?"

"That's okay. No one likes me anyway, at least not until my book comes out." He said, "Anyway, I better get back to my hubby Asahina before he gets too drunk and can't get up no more."

And with that, the crazed Isaka was gone. Thank godness.

"Now, the great Usami Akihiko will speak." Someone announced.

"Hello, fangirls and fanboys."

Misaki turned toward the stage, waiting to see Usami make an ass of himself. Again.

"I'm glad to see you all here, supporting my series. It means a great deal to me. Although, I am sure the Machines aren't liking it too much."

The crowd laughed, as if he were just joking around.

"In fact, right now they are probably plotting way to destroy my fan base. You brave people who have come today, I wish you all safe travel home."

Again they laughed.

"But let's not talk about them anymore. There's a special someone I'd like to thank…"

Misaki instantly ducked behind a large group of fangirls.

"Isaka, where are you, you bastard?" Akihiko said, looking around, "There, in the back! That jerk has been my inspiration since I was a kid." Everyone looked toward the publisher, who just happened to be sitting on another man's lap, smoking a joint. "He was the first one to mention these machines to me. He said he saw them, when he was high."

The crowd clapped as Isaka jumped up and yelled something about Akihiko being a "tight ass."

"Oh, don't let him get to you, honey."

"I wasn't talking to you, babe."

Misaki was just sighing with relief when Akihiko said, "Well, aside from the freak show, there's one other person I have to thank."

They locked eyes for a moment. Misaki clearly showing he didn't want in the public spotlight.

"My publisher, Aikawa."

"That's right, bitches!"

"Again, thank you all for coming." Akihiko finished by blowing a kiss to the crowd, that just happened to look like it was directed toward Misaki.

He stepped into the crowd and was quickly mobbed by fangirls.

Misaki decided it would just be better if he left. It wasn't like he could just go up and start talking to him. Besides, he didn't want to go through the stress of thinking Akihiko would come out with their relationship.

He slipped into the hall and quickly headed for his room. Allong the way, he just happened to run into Hurahiko. Tonight just wasn't his night.

"What do you want?"

"To apologize for yesterday. Now, I'd like to talk to you. You wouldn't mind acompanying me to my room, would you?"

"Sure, scary stalker dude! I'd love too."

And so, Misaki foolishly followed Hurahiko back to his room in the hotel.

"I have some cake inside, would you like a piece?"

Misaki remembered Takahiro saying something once about taking candy from strangers. 'Never get in a strangers car, even if he offers you candy' was that it?

But, Hurahiko had offered cake. And it wasn't a car, it was his hotel room. Besides, he wasn't a child anymore.

Of course, while eating said cake Hurahiko started talking about aleins. Misaki was used to Akihiko talking about machines, so it didn't bother him at first. Then he started saying something about 'devine alien law.'

"Wait a minute? This isn't about me belonging to you, right?"

"Actually it is," Hurahiko said, "In fact, I will admit I put something in that cake to make you fall for me. Is it working?"

"Depends, what did you put in here." Misaki asked, feeling a slight urge to vomit.

"Strawberries. What did you think, prevert!"

"Sorry! I'm just used to Usami's idea of eating, that's all."

Usami was silent for a moment, "So, you two have…"

"I'd really not like to talk about it."

"That bastard! You're mine! He can't do that! I have to be the one to deflower you!"

"Whoa, keep your pants on!" Misaki said, "Actually, it's time I left! See ya!"

"Wait, Misaki! Stop, I have a message for my brother."

"What?" Misaki was already at the door, though Hurahiko was making no move to stop him.

"Tell him that I wouldn't give up. Tell him that by the end of this lousy series, I will molest you."

"Okay, I'll tell him."

-/-

"Misaki, I can't understand you when you talk that fast. And actually, it would help if you got out of chibi mode too." Usagi-san awhile later.

"Yeah, Mizz, slow down. There ain't no rush."

Misaki stopped to take a breath, and to switch back to normal. Somehow he'd found that anime characters moved a lot faster in chibi form, so he's rushed back using it.

"He started talking about that alien law crap," he said, "And then there was a cake with strawberries and…"

"He gave you strawberries?" Akihiko asked in shock.

"Yeah,"

"Dammit! This is not good. Hurry up, Misaki, take your clothes off! We have to undo this now!"

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"We have to have sex right now! Or else you'll start flaming!"

"Usagi-san, I seriously doubt that's going to do anything."

"Can I watch?" Aikawa asked.

"NO!" both of them yelled.

"Whatever, let's bounce, Isaka. Wait? Damn, where did they run off to? I have porn to return to him…" the red head started as she wandered out of the room.

"Misaki, I don't like to repeat myself. Do I have to strip you for you?"

"No wait!" Misaki protested, slapping Usagi's hands away, "He had a message for you!"

"What is it?"

"He said, 'Tell him that I wouldn't give up. Tell him that by the end of this lousy series, I will molest you.'"

"Are those his words exactly?"

"Yeah, the writer was lazy and simply copy and pasted."

"Hmm…. Interesting…"

"How so?"

"He didn't say anything about father… That makes me wonder…"

"Please tell me there isn't anymore of you that I'll have to deal with!"

"I'm sorry, Misaki. But my father is a regestered sex-offender. We're going to have to take extreme measures to keep you safe."

-/-

**Well, this is over 1000 words. Long enough, eh? **

**Review, and I'll think up a way to kill Chichi… Or at least to get rid of him… *evil smile.***

**Usami: Oh no, please tell me you aren't doing these weird things!**

**Me: What weird things?**

**Usami talking to me at the end! I mean, I think it's cute and silly too but honestly? Have you sunk that low?**

**Me: Yes.**

**Misaki: Hey, NS? Can you please make me taller? At least in this series!**

**Me: No, Misaki. However, I believe there's a pill for that.**

**Misaki: Really? Can I have one?**

**Me: Sure. *gives little blue pill**Smirks to Usami***

**Usami: Know what, maybe these aren't too bad? Come on, Misaki. That's gonna take effect pretty soon and you'll want to be at home when that happens.**

**Misaki: Um… Okay!**

**Light Yagami: Review, and I'll write Usamichichi's name in my death note.**


	7. So, It Has Come To This

_Okay, it's been a long wait. Ad I'm very sorry. But, I have a good reason: __**The Junjou Parodies on youtube!**_

_Yeah, the trailer is done. Though it is a day later than I promised. However it was done manily by myself. BUT a couple more friends agreed to voice-act for it! So, love to __**Kayla, Hannah, Lauryn and Troy.**__ And of course to __**Nikki**__ who will be giving his imput once he's back from camp._

-/-And now, on with the chapter:

It had been a few days since the hotel incident. Misaki was still going to school normally, though Usami-san was making even that harder to do.

Usami-san was actually working for once, so Misaki was able to study in peace. He turned the news on, just for back-ground sound as he flipped though a fashion magizine. One of his asignments was to cut out pictures from a magizine to glue on a poster for their class. Later in the week they'd attempt 'prefecting' the hair style.

The reported "fifty great sex posistions that will drive your man wild" was _**not**_ the real reason he'd decided to pick up "Uke Monthly." * He told himself this, yet still found himself flipping to page 50 where he was greeted with some very naughty pictures. No wonder the girl at the counter looked at him funny…

'_Well, I may as well look. Just in case I ever need… addvice. Not because I'm interested or anything._' He said to himself, while looking over the top ten.

"Hello, this is Sabrina from Action Five news, here with the latest!." The TV buzzed in the background. Misaki barely noticed. "Hello, I am reporting today from outside a church, where a seiral pedofile has been cuaght. Excuse me, Mr. Pedo? May I quote you?"

"No, leave me the hell alone, you bitch." Misaki looked up, hearing the familiar voice.

But it wasn't Haruhiko nor Akihiko he saw on the screen. It was just an old guy with features like their's… Thinking back, Misaki was pretty sure he remembered Usami saying something about his father being a sex offender. *

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Misaki was still froozen in spot, staring at the TV.

"You're useless, Misaki." Akihiko said, walking toward the door cluching his 'over sized teddy bear.'

"Usami!" a girl screamed rushing into view.

"Oh, not again!"

"I love you!"

"I don't care! Get out of my house!"

"But… I love you!"

Akihiko sighed, "Just leave me and my bear in peace."

"Um, who is this?" Misaki asked.

"A rabid fan-girl."

"I'm your sister! You're twin sister!"

"Yeah, and that makes you a fan-girl. So, get out!"

Unfortunitly for Misaki, there was in fact, more Usami's. And_ all_ of them, like Haruhiko and Akihiko, were strange.

An hour later, Misaki found himself in the middle of a debat between the twins. * Like her brother, Kaoruko had broken away from the family's strange belief in the 'divine alien law.' However, her ideas were… Well, let's just say she believed to be one of the 'Jaja-epicer-children' which were desendants of the Pokemon/ teletubby Love-Childs. Not children, childs.

Thus was Misaki in his however-the-heck-old-you-want year. _'Takahiro, I know this is as strange as Bella talking to Alice in the middle of New Moon when she wasn't even there… Or answering her text messages, but I just want to tell you: You have horrible taste in friends. And that I hate you very, very much.' _

-/-

**Um… Fail! Well, at least I have the 'Usami girl' in there. So, everything we recorded today wasn't for nuaght. Well, look up the trailer. And I promise the series will be much funnier once it kicks off. My user-name is Rhiannon_Vampire. And it is titled 'Junjou Parody Trailer.'**

***It was going to be "Emo Monthly" but I later changed it to Uke… For obvious reasons. **

*** Yeah, this was my attempted to make it more like the parody on youtube. Though I did change it up a bit. **

*** … Well, I had to do something different. And it's sorta what Troy, Lauryn and I came up with for 'the girl Usami.'**


	8. Running With Scissors

_Well, since the last chapter sucked, I'll be surprised if people actually return for this. _

_Oh, btw, if you aren't caught up on the manga, I suggest you go read it now… The new Terrorist chapter will change Fanfiction forever! Yay!_

-/-

Misaki didn't usually judge people. Except of course when he assumed Usami was a pervert. Or that Takahiro's wife was a total bitch. Or that Isaki was…

Oh, screw it. Misaki was just as judgmental as everybody else.

And so, naturally he knew Usami's sister was going to be just like him. Save for the whole 'Jaja epicer whatever-the-hell-NowakiStar-thinks-up-next. _**((Not fair Misaki. Lauryn made up that one.))**_ Either way, she too was a dreadful pervert in Misaki's mind.

And, somehow, she wanted to marry Akihiko as well.

"Oh, come on, Akihiko." She purred, "You know I can't stand Hurohiko. Besides, imagine the jaja we could create together!"

Oh, she was also a Nazi and believed in breeding the perfect children.

"I told you, I'm gay. Get over it." He replied, before giving Misaki a look that said, 'please act like a flamer so she'll leave.'

Of course, Misaki doubted it would work. And no matter how many times he insisted, Usami wouldn't give up the hope there was a way to get rid of her.

"So what? We'll just have a three-way with Misaki here."

Misaki choked up the water he'd been drinking. "Wait, what?"

"No fucking way. Why don't you just have kids with Mizuki instead?" Usami replied, glaring at his sister.

"You know what, I'm going to school. See ya," Misaki was already on his way out.

"He has a really nice ass, I'm happy for you." He just barely heard Kaoruko saying as he slammed the door shut.

He sighed and began walking toward the school.

-/-

"Wow, sounds like your life sucks!" Sumi said when Misaki had finished bitching.

"It does!"

"Then, why don't you just give Usami to me. You don't even like him anyway." His so-called friend said, absentmindedly applying eye-liner.

"Well, I think he's starting to grow on me. Not to mention the sex is really, really go-" he stopped, noticing Sumi's glare in the mirror. "What I meant to say was, we bought each other purity-rings and have a happy, non-married existence without doing anything impure."

"Misaki, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I was trying to-"

"I mean, who wouldn't want to have sex with Usami Akihiko? Damn!"

An awkward silence filled the room.

"I said that a little too loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah, just a bit."

-/-

"Well, I'll see ya, Misaki!" Toudou called as he and Sumi walked away. He still didn't realize that they weren't friends at all, but Misaki didn't really care. The boy was so full of spoilers; Misaki could almost believe that he really was from the future. Today, he'd even informed Misaki that the author of 'The Kan' was smoking hot. Misaki couldn't wait till Usami was forced to compete with that guy.

Speaking of Usami, Misaki noticed that he was running a little late today. However, a freaky black van had pulled up in front of him. A window slide down, and Hurohiko smiled down at him.

"I didn't really know if I'd see you when I drove past you're school around the time you got out. This must be what they call 'destiny.'"

"No, I believe it's called 'stalking.'" Misaki replied, though he couldn't help smiling, "So, did you bring me any cake?"

Hurohiko blinked, "You want cake? I didn't bring any, but I'm sure I can my sex-slave… Err, butler to bake you something good. What to come home with me?"

Misaki hesitated. He thought he remembered something about not getting into cars with strangers… Wait that was only if they offered candy, right? … No, that didn't sound right either.

After thinking it over, Misaki decided what Takahiro probably told him was 'not to get into a stranger's car unless offered candy' since why would someone dangerous have candy in their car? And cake was close enough… And after all, Hurohiko wasn't a stranger.

Misaki got into the passenger seat, much to Hurohiko's pleasure. The doors automatically locked when he got in, but he didn't think anything of it. Akihiko locked the doors all the time to keep homeless people out…

No, that wasn't right either, was it?

Who cares, I'm getting cake!

-/-

… **Again, Misaki does something stupid.**

**Wow, I'm beginning to think that's what the whole series is about. JK!**


	9. The Sex Tape

_Well, my week is going to be really busy so I figure I oughta do this quick. _

_Random: I'm going to begin a Kuroshitsuji Parody. And have a poll on my profile for it. Even if you don't know the series, it'd be nice if you voted! Please?~ _

-/- Oh yay! Misaki doing more stupid stuff!

Upon entering the Usami house I was rushed up the stairs, past the collection of Tom Cruise films and led into a storage room. And guess what? No cake.

That wasn't the only odd thing. I mean, offering cake you don't have is pretty odd. But there was more. Haruhiko muttered something about an offering to the 'almightily' in thanks for his 'luck.' And then something about a spell being needed to clean me…

I mean, I take a shower or bath every night! I'm not dirty! *

Then he made to leave. Of course, though I'm not the brightest knife in Zaroff's collection*, it did accrue to me that I was going to be locked in a closet.

"Wait! What's going on here? Where's the cake!"

"The cake is a lie. This is your room now. I'll be back in a few hours."

Then he left me with the worst thoughts possible going through my head. If there wasn't cake, that meant Haruhiko wasn't a good guy which meant…

He had cake. He just didn't want to share it.

The bastard.

-/- 7 minutes later:

Well, after being in the storage closet whatever for over five minutes, I started getting bored. I mean, most people probably would have been panicking and at least trying to bust down the door. Not me. I was smart enough to remember that the Usami's were rich assholes and their closets had windows. No joke. There really was a window in this closet! And some conveniently placed bed sheets.

After making a rope from the bed sheets, like any good boy-scout, I duct taped it to the window sill. This would be my escape from total boredom I thought.

And then it broke.

You're probably thinking the duct tape didn't hold or that my knots just weren't that great. You're wrong on both accounts. True. I was a boy scout but I was so horrible at knots, that I knotted it in trying to knot it. And of course the duct tape held! Duct Tape solves everything, remember? And what would this parody be if it hadn't worked for me?

It was the windowsill that didn't hold. I guess my weight was just too much.

Well, after falling like a complete idiot into some bushes, I realized that the twins and Haruhiko were standing there, watching me like hawks.

"Wow, Misaki. You really aren't the shiniest of Lestat's mirrors* are you?" Haruhiko asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Ahem. I believe what you mean to say is 'Misaki, you're not the snarkiest Cullen in the silverware drawer?'" Kaoruko said.

No one even bothered to look at her funny. Then again, in this family it mustn't have been too strange.

"Well, now is a perfect time to once again claim that Misaki is mine. And fortunately this time I have video proof." Akihiko said, pulling a DVD from his pocket, "Here, this is a tape of Misaki and I having sex. Enjoy."

I fainted then and there. I was planning on dying of embarrassment, but I'm need for later chapters. And if the writer really wanted to kill me off, I would have somehow been beheaded when I fell from the window.

((Oh, and then there was hot car-sex scenes that cannot be shown due to the story's current T-rating. However it may appear in the bonuses cause I'd love to write a spoofed smut. It'd be insane!))

-/-

***Sort of a reference to Kuroshitsuji. Ciel is referred to as dirty, unclean and impure. Though, Misaki's past is really sad as well (Although it really isn't referred too much anymore) I'm using it as 'impure' he's no "Taki-Sama" flower. :P **

*** If you understand this, you get a virtual cookie! … Then again, if you do get it than you also realize as psycho I really am. Yeah, I wanted him to kill Rainsford. (: I'm a weirdo. **

***I love Lestat! … Anyway, he was played by Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire. And to date has never met a mirror he didn't like. Hint hint. **


	10. Farewell

**I'm sorry to have not updated in so long. I know not all of you know this, but I've been sick for a very long time and now, I've found out that I'm dying. If anyone wants to "adopt" this story or any of my others you may all feel free to do so. Good bye and love from Rhiannon, aka Nowaki Star**


End file.
